Round the corner on a Yamaha

To herald the news that Mars Bars are no longer to be marketed to the under-12s (a situation which will clearly lead to a thriving underground black market of classroom confectionary) Eddie Mair played the product’s familiar old advertising jingle on PM the other day.

When growing up in the playgrounds of the East Midlands I always heard this amended to run:

A Mars a day
Helps your teeth rot away

While a two-line sting for New Trebor Spearmints was hastily reworded as:

New Trebor Spearmints are a minty bit stronger
Stick ’em up yer bum and they last a bit longer

There are probably at least five and a half million people writing about these things online at this precise moment in time. It’d be a lie to insist otherwise. Still, as Homer Simpson observed, it takes two to lie: one to lie and one to listen. So here are a couple of other notable re-stylings from Loughborough’s morning breaktimes:

We three kings of Orient are
One in a taxi, one in a car
One on a scooter, blowing a hooter
Reading the Daily Star

And perhaps most spectacular of all:

Jesus Christ Superstar
Came round the corner on a Yamaha
Did a skid, killed a kid
Knackered his balls on a dustbin lid

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