Don’t fancy yours much

Here’s a particulary notorious breed, known for its distinctive bellowing, dopey expression, ponderous countenance and advanced stupidity. Standing next to it is a plastic cow.

She was at it again this week. How many times has this story done the rounds? On each occasion it’s explained away as “tiredness” or “fatigue” or “an illness”. You’d think she might have realised by now that if you’re hosting an early morning breakfast show on the radio, it might be wise to go to bed early the previous evening, and that if you’re ill, don’t go in to work at all.

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