Photo clippage #38

Tuesday 29th April 2008

Election night approaches, and David indicates the number of viewers likely to tune into his brother on the other side.

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Humphrey Lyttelton RIP

Friday 25th April 2008

Devastatingly sad news.


Slight return: slight return

Friday 25th April 2008

Just discovered you can watch the whole of that Macca TV special here.

Highlights include the man’s piano being blown up at the end of ‘Live And Let Die’, assorted members of the public filmed singing along to Beatles song in a That’s Life fashion, a fantastic bit of nonsense to accompany ‘Uncle Albert’, a raucous knees-up in a Merseyside local, and a magical version of ‘Yesterday’.

An ATV Colour Production.


The boy with the Wirrn in his side

Tuesday 22nd April 2008

It’s been confirmed that Morrissey is to play a leading role in this year’s Christmas episode of Dr Who.

The curmudgeonly racialist is hoping to repeat the success of Kylie Minogue, who dazzled viewers in last year’s festive special with her performance as a load of atoms.

It’s long been known that Morrissey is a Dr Who fan. His Smiths hit ‘William, It Was Really Nothing’ was a tribute to the first actor to play the role, while the song ‘Little Man, What Now?’ from his debut solo LP Viva Hate was a caustic swipe at John Nathan-Turner. The single ‘You’re The One For Me, Fatty’, meantime, was an affectionate love letter to Colin Baker.

When asked for a comment about winning the part, Morrissey replied: “I’m not happy and I’m not sad”.


The Macca Video Jukebox: slight return

Monday 21st April 2008

It ran and ran, it got binned off, it was brought back for want of anything else to write about.

Here’s Paul giving his all in one of those 1970s musical spectaculars you don’t see on TV anymore, chiefly because they are 1970s musical spectaculars.

Full marks to the man for treating the thing with utmost sincerity, despite the giant cut-out legs, the bi-curious hoofing hordes and the ghastly plastered down hair.

He’s certainly nifty on his feet, though, and look out for the bit at the end where he and Linda are shown watching Macca performing, in a Harty-esque fashion.

Imagine old miserable bastard Lennon even considering something as good-natured as this.


Creamguide live blog!

Thursday 17th April 2008

Welcome to another minute-by-minute live blog following all tonight’s thrilling Creamguide action, as it happens.

What will fate hold in store for the safe completion of this week’s mailouts? What circumstances, mishaps and bust-ups will contrive to throw multiple spanners in the works? And just whose turn is it to feel the full force of the managing editor’s ire?

Rest assured that every single scrap of incident will be documented here, in real time. Stay tuned!

5.01pm
Sitting in the office of my proper job. Not much left to do. Get a drink of water.

5.06pm
Lower the blinds so the sun doesn’t shine on my computer screen.

5.08pm
Take a sip of water.

5.15pm
In response to Chris’s comment, I can exclusively reveal that Richard Stilgoe will be mentioned just the once in tonight’s Creamguide.

5.27pm
Last night’s Apprentice was good, wasn’t it?

5.42pm
I can exclusively reveal that the Filmguide has been written and was sent over ready for publication an hour or so ago!

5.51pm
Don’t forget to keep those emails coming: who’s your Pick Of The Popes – Benedict XVI or John Paul II?

6.04pm
Erk! A last minute problem at work is keeping me late in the office. The entire evening is now thrown into confusion.

6.08pm
A text message from Tanya on the M62: “can u give a big shout to my m8s? weve just bin to Ikea at Warrington it was kewl”

6.15pm
Wash up my tea mug. Have a bit of trouble finding the scourer.

6.35pm
The problem is sorted. Time to head home. Wonder how public transport will be tonight?

7.45pm
Back at home. Fell asleep on the train as usual. Oh look, there’s a letter addressed to someone who lived here years ago.

7.51pm
The first of TV Cream’s weekly mailouts, the TV Cream Times, has been sent. Meanwhile it’s time to heat up that leftover risotto from the other night.

7.53pm
Actually, someone once told me that reheating risotto could kill you. This is surely nonsense; it’s not the reheating but in the eating that the danger lies.

8.02pm
A quick recap of last week’s talking point opinion poll result: 16% of you thought it was good manners to smile at a stranger in the street, 84% of you thought this was likely to get you knifed.

8.19pm
Contention, she wrote! The Filmguide has been forwarded for delivery in a Rich Text File, a format which my computer is unwilling to open.

8.21pm
I open the Rich Text File.

8.34pm
There’s a chill in the air tonight, don’t you think?

8.44pm
The Digi-Cream Times mailout is finally on its way. Joe from Redcar thinks the Pope should be excommunicated for looking too much like Bernard Cribbins.

9.15pm
And there goes the TV Cream Films mailout.

9.22pm
Make some camomile tea

9.26pm
Well, I hope you all relished another action-packed rollercoaster of a live blog, full of thrills and surprises. If you enjoy reading blogs that write about the most mundane things in as joyless a manner possible in desperately tedious and pointless fashion, you’ll find plenty more here, where forthcoming attractions include live blogging of the earth orbiting the sun tomorrow, and the opening of an envelope next Wednesday.


Photo clippage #37

Tuesday 15th April 2008

It’s the 250th post on this blog, and what better way to mark the occasion than have a pregnant Cilla sit on a chair in the middle of a road with Terry Scott, Basil Brush, Leslie Crowther and someone else in a short dress?