"Cost: under a pound, you know"

Courtesy of Chris Hughes, Jill Phythian and Jon Peake (who, in an alternative universe, would be the current Blue Peter team), here’s an itemised, bullet-pointed analysis of two light popular classics.

1. BANGOR, DAY TRIP TO

– Had a lovely time

– Cost: under a pound, you know

– Walked along the seafront

– Heard a brass band

– Elsie and me had a cup of tea

– Took a pedalo boat out

– Jack (cuddled with)

– Opened a bottle of cider

– Sang a few of our favourite songs

– Ate chocolate ice

– Ferris wheel

– Elsie felt sick

– Said goodbye to the seaside

– Cash on demand (wouldn’t it be grand to have)

2. TO DO: SWINGER (OLDEST IN TOWN)

– Score with chick (in disco bar)

– Car (hairy little)

– Went to school with her ma and pa

– Scared to look at mirror in light of day

– Wrangler’s (scared to zip up, belly in way)

– Barber takes a little less time each week

– Offered seat when walk into a disco

– Prefer pint of mild to Bacardi and Coke

– Lights (too bright); Smoke (too much)

– Stroke (fear of having)

– Like disco king meets Yogi Bear

– Vick (rub on where used to rub Brut)

– Latest punk fashion is wedding suit

– Sex appeal (have to go shopping for)

– Ultra-violet light (dentures glow in)

– Takes all night to do what you use to do all night

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3 Responses to "Cost: under a pound, you know"

  1. Chris Hughes says:

    It’s a terribly flattering notion, but I fear that me and Jon are both too much the relaxed Purves type for this team to gel. Maybe we can get Jill to do all the jumping out of planes, and me and Jon can do the makes and the “but perhaps you can get your local library to order a copy” stuff.

  2. Five-Centres says:

    Next up: It’s ‘Orrible Being In Love When You’re Eight-And-A-Half by Claire & Friends.

    So does that make Jon Peter Purves to Chris’ John Noakes?

  3. Chris Hughes says:

    I’m now thinking that I’m the Simon Groom to Jon’s Peter Duncan. I reckon Jon is the type to go off and star in Pump Boys and Dinettes.

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