S for Rantzen

Chris Hughes has unearthed striking proof of the existence of The Second Book of Jigsaw Puzzles (Jigsaw as in the Clive Doig-devised alphabetorium of antics) .

It’s a Cockney A-Z, complete with definitions, which apparently appeared in said book and which recently turned up online.

It’s hard to believe some of these are still in common usage. ‘S for Rantzen’? Most people under 20 won’t have a clue who that is. Ditto ‘I for The Engine’. Kids under 10 will never have heard of an envelope. And words such as mutton and zephyr have recently been given Grade II listed status.

Anyway, it’s good to know that somewhere out there must be a copy of The Second Book Of Jigsaw Puzzles, hopefully with a fully-illustrated story explaining how Jig was ‘born’.

But just what did this particular whim have to do with the desk of Doig?

A for ‘Orses ……………… (‘ay for ‘orses)
B for Mutton ……………… (Beef or Mutton)
C for Miles ………………. (See for Miles)
D for Ential ……………… (Differential)
E for Brick ………………. (‘eave a Brick)
F for Vescence ……………. (Effervescence)
G for Get It ……………… (Gee, forget it!)
H for Bless You …………… (Aitsshfa! A Sneeze)
I for The Engine ………….. (Ivor the Engine)
J for Oranges …………….. (Jaffa Oranges)
K for Restaurant ………….. (Cafe or Restaurant)
L for Leather …………….. (‘ell for Leather)
M for Sis’ ……………….. (Emphasis)
N for Lope ……………….. (Envelope)
O for The Wings Of A Dove ….. (O! for the Wings of a Dove!)
P for Relief ……………… (?!?!)
Q for A Bus ………………. (Queue for a Bus)
R for Mo’ ………………… (‘alf a Mo’)
S for Rantzen …………….. (Esther Rantzen)
T for Two ………………… (Tea for Two)
U for Me …………………. (You for Me)
V for La France …………… (Vive la France)
W for The Winnings ………… (Double you for the Winnings)
X for Breakfast …………… (Eggs for Breakfast)
Y for Husband …………….. (Wife or Husband)
Z for Wind ……………….. (Zephyr Wind)

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One Response to S for Rantzen

  1. Matthew Rudd says:

    I think that is genius at work. I really do.

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